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I know of no greater
trauma than experiencing first-hand
that your core beliefs about the world --
and your place in it -- are not absolute.
This page Under Construction, but ...
We'd like you to consider the implications of the
following idea. Many people in this world do not exist
in lifestyles where they expect to shot, stabbed or
clubbed to death over their words and actions. AND, as
long as that person, restricts his or herself to
1) only dealing with individuals who feel the same way,
2) dealing with individuals, who feel differently, only in circumstances
where, those individuals decide it is not in their best interests to
become violent (e.g. he doesn't want to get fired from his job over
punching you out for insulting him),
3) does not go out of his/her way to be offensive, insulting, dishonest
hurtful or mean to people -- especially such individuals as described
in point 2,
that person will pretty safe from physical assault.
Although it is hard to measure what doesn't happen. Those strategies WILL prevent a great deal of violence from happening to you. We say that because the violation of those parameters do tend result in someone being physically assaulted. Aside from the lessening chances of being hospitalized or killed, those strategies will also lessen the conflict in your life in general.
Interestingly enough, if someone limits him or herself to functioning in point 1, a common result is the belief that one doesn't have to be concerned about point 3. In fact, some people go so far at to convincing themselves that they can be as hurtful, mean, rude, selfish, obnoxious and stupid as they wish and there will be no repercussions. That other people must endure whatever abuse they dish out. OR, if they do something that leaves them vulnerable and exposed, the other person can't take advantage of them in that state.
This kind of thinking tends to accompany the false assumption that one's body is sacrosanct. The belief is that "Nobody has the right to touch you without your permission."
While that is a catchy sounding phrase the simple truth is that 'rights' have nothing to do with it. To begin with, rights are granted to you by the government, NOT other people. Therefore while someone may not have the 'right' to touch you, that and two bucks will get you a cup of coffee -- especially if you have been violating points 1-3. And this is especially true if you've been practicing point 3 on an individual from point 2.
The common problem with believing that your body is
sacrosanct is since you believe that you are
untouchable, why should you bother
a) Learning how to protect yourself?
b) Taking care not to offend others?
c) Practicing self-restraint?
Generally speaking, if you've found yourself to be on the receiving end of an assault, you've -- at least in the eyes of the person assaulting you -- violated these points. Because in places where physical violence is a common result of one's misconduct (whether you think it was misconduct or not), that's pretty much how and why violence happens.
And not to rain on anybody's parade, but with the
economic hard times there's going to be a whole lot
more conflict followed by 'stress violence.'
Return to top
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