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Violence Doesn't Happen The Way You Think It Does | Simple Answers We Don't Give | Why Simplistic Answers Don't Work

See if you have heard (or even said) any of the following dangerously simplistic ideas about personal safety
      Carry your keys sticking out between your fingers
      A personal alarm will scare away an attacker
      Carrying a gun is enough
      I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by six
      All you have to do is kick him in the balls
      Don't look at the scary person and he'll leave you alone
      There are no rules in a streetfight
      Martial arts teach you self-defense

As long as you don't ever have to try to use any of them, these ideas work great.

What they work great for is making you feel safe.

We maintain there is a big difference between feeling safe and actually being safe. To us, feeling safe should be a byproduct of being safe.

Why Simplistic answers don't work
Let us establish an important fact: Violence is a complex problem that has many different degrees and manifestations.

The reason for this is that violence is a human dynamic. Humans are never only about one thing. Nor are they cookie cutter in their reactions, attitudes and behaviors. A level of force that would be abhorrent to one social strata is not only perfectly reasonable, but common among another.  

This is why you-just-do-this answers are ridiculous. What would work against one type, will fail miserably against another.

Whereas what is necessary to stop the other type is overkill on the first.

This is why we are fond of statements like "It depends" and "The situation dictates." There are countless variables that must be identified, the significance correctly recognized and the appropriate reaction selected. A process that must be done for every encounter. Because every encounter is different, there is no cure-all answer.

Let's look at how one such simplistic you-just-do-this answer falters in the face of real-life variables. Many so-called 'experts' will tell you to carry your keys clinched in your hand so you can poke an attacker's eyes out. Our attitude is that the 'ready-for-trouble' mindset one acquires doing this is what is really doing the job. Your body language is a bigger deterrent to small time punks than the keys. No matter what the reason, what's important is that trouble avoids you.

But what if trouble still comes your way? Unexpectedly clawing his face with your keys will probably work against an aggressive panhandler or mentally ill street person. You use the pain as a diversion and run -- except for one thing: That's not self-defense. You've just assaulted someone with an item In most states this is a more severe charge (ADW or Aggravated Assault). In the eyes of the law, that "bum" has just as many rights as you do and you just attacked him. Unless you can articulate why it was self-defense -- and not just you panicking and attacking him -- it's going to be your word against his. And he's the one who's bleeding.

But the simple truth is that there are people out there who, if you gouge their face with your keys, they'll snap your neck, shoot you or stab you. That's what violent people do to those who inflict pain, not injury, onto them.

That's a simplistic answer looked at in the practical light of reality.

On the other extreme, if you are going to carry a gun or a knife for self-defense, then you had better know when you are legally, morally and ethically justified in using it. There are established standards that must be met before you use a lethal force weapon. If you react out of fear or anger, then you are going to go to prison. It's not a matter of going to jail for 'attempted self-defense,' it is because in such a state, people often cross over from defending into attacking.

These are just some of the complexities that you must deal with when it comes to "self-defense."

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there who are selling simplistic, misinformed, and down right dangerous answers. Answers that will get you into trouble one way or the other. But the problem is that these answers not only sound good, but are downright appealing to certain mindsets. The reason this nonsense exists is because people want to believe it. They want simple answers to complex problems so they can go on with theirs lives.

We understand that goal, and to that end we have the closest thing to a simplistic answer that we use:
The best way to be safe is learn how to recognize crime and violence developing and leave before it happens. It's hard to get raped, robbed, murdered, shot or stabbed if you're not there.

The best way to win is not to play the game. But that takes some work on your part... and that's what this Website will help you do.